| i'm a liar. |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|10:47 pm] |
its almost been a year and this is the first time since that i've posted anything.
Luke just made fun of me for still having a myspace and he was appalled that i said i still even had a livejournal, thus i am now checking it and seeing what i even said last year.
i'm back in Birmingham, now. i spent just over a year in Muscle Shoals, AL. at Grace Life Church (formerly First Baptist Church of Muscle Shoals).
it was an incredible year and the Lord showed me so much. Lord willing, most of what i have learned will be put into action.
i am praying for discipline. this is actually my FIRST night back in Birmingham. i must head back to my brother's house. living with him is the main reason the Lord called me back here. to just be here with him. he's been going through so much this year. it has been absolutely beautiful all the cleansing fire the Lord has brought upon my family. it hurts and it's definitely uncomfortable as it comes. but its end is to burn away the dross and purify the gold that HE has wrought within me, ultimately bringing me into greater and greater fellowship with Him.
all this to say. may Christ be honored, glorified and exalted over all things.
grace&peace |
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| so |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|12:36 pm] |
hey!
i'll be back every once in a while.
keep you folks on ya toes |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2007|03:17 am] |
"so, i totally don't mean to be foreward or anything by saying this, but i have to let you know that i think you are quite possibly the most handsome boy i've ever seen."
someone actually said that to me... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|11:05 pm] |
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give me the, give me the, give me the gold! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2007|06:09 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Paul Washer - To Love the Word of God | ] |
i am excited for all of you True Believers down in Daytona who are going through the tribulation at FBC Daytona!
i know the will of the Father will be accomplished. to wonder, or doubt that is foolish.
The Bible says "He who began a good work WILL finish it!" fear not.
i am thrilled to see where the Lord has the church of Daytona going and to see what it becomes and how it grows.
this may be a time where the True Believers join together and a great thing happens and things are settled, perhaps David Cox will be broken and he will resign from office, perhaps he will be broken and the Lord will bring about a revival through pastor David, or perhaps the Lord will allow him to stay and the persecution of the True Saints will come and the Church of Daytona will be scattered abroad like in the days of old. regardless it is a beautiful thing to be a part of. take heart!
the will of the Lord prevails and He works ALL things out to the good of those who love Him.
Our God is God.
nathan |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2006|05:21 pm] |
i shall be home for christmas.
thursday night.
Christmas party at my house Saturday the 23rd. Bring a $5 gift for that dirty santa thing or whatever.
food, friends, and Jesus at the center of it all.
i havent seen most of yall since the summer. so come.
love you guys. |
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| James 4:7 |
[Nov. 12th, 2006|10:42 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Chris Thile - Cazadero | ] |
Draw near to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
Romans 13:12
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.
ps. never trust anyone that doesn't have scripture to back up what they say!
2 Timothy 3:16 |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2006|12:45 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | chris thile - how to grow a woman... | ] |
come ooooon, Lord!
may i pleeeeeeeeeease have my car back??
OH and can you make me disciplined in the things that i set out to do? i am oh so very bad at sticking to things. well... most things.
i do the things i do not want to do. and the things i do not want to do, i do. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2006|11:39 am] |
i love boys.
and their weens. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2006|05:22 pm] |
Gone is the past man out with the old ways come with the new man shine forth
thine pure rays and lead us in thine true ways of life |
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| so long so far |
[Oct. 9th, 2006|08:35 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Jesus I Come (Out of My Bondage) | ] |
sweet home alabama (mikey's playing that on the guitar like EVERYFREAKINGBODY DOES WHEN THEY HOLD A GUITAR! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ)
new mewithoutyou! good.....so good.
the only materialistic things i could go for right now is a new iPod (cause mine is 100% Brokeback now) and a vehicle.
i love the Fall. no, NOT the whole deal with all of humanity being separated from the Father! the season, you gimps!
the Lord is magnificent.
i am honegry!
and the leaves turn
. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|01:07 am] |
| [ | music |
| | lauren searching my cabinets for popcorn | ] |
not that i think this of myself or that anyone else does, for that matter, but i am not as spiritual or as righteous as i may appear.
that's something that i am learning these days.
about self-righteousness. there is not near enough things i could do to ever add to God's pleasure, nor is there anything i could do to detract from it. God is God. He is full of Himself. and needs not anything from any of us. we can't do enough "good" to earn even a foothold into the Kingdom.
He simply desires glory. and He gets it. regardless. we are not needed by Him. but He, for his own designs, chooses and allows us to be a part of his amazing plans.
back to more of the self-righteousness aspect...
what are you doing for the Lord? why AREN'T you doing for the Lord? what am i not doing for the Lord?
i feel that is quite a scary subject to think about. so many people get caught up in "doing" things for God. people get this mindset that they're supposed to always be doing something. and if they're not doing something, then they're just not being a "good christian". is there no leading of the Holy Spirit? is He not moving you unto good works? if you are doing things out of sheer obligation, instead of brokenness of the Spirit, and a renewal of your heart, then your works are dead. pray for Life.
Christ promises that among His children, we will become meek, we will become servants, we will become humble, that He will change out hearts of stone into hearts of flesh that can feel, and sense His will. that can truly worship Him in spirit and in truth. but that only comes with true conversion. if you go long periods of time without being broken over your sin against the Lord, and if you are not continually growing in your Faith, question not your works... call out to the Father, for you might not even be of the Flock.
place not your hope in men, or in the strength of men, or yourself, to do much of any good. but put it in the One who has the power to change you for eternity.
does that make any sense?
i love you all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|12:57 am] |
Vanity of vanities, say the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
everything is meaningless. and i spend so much time and effort with a chasing of the wind. all things are full of weariness.
what has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done.
how i wish i could hate with all i am the things that are vain and useless!
the only good is to eat and drink and give glory to God for the toil with which we've been bestowed. but not to put all focus upon any one of those things, except the Lord.
God is so beautiful. and His will and pleasure so romantic. how beautiful in the eyes of the Father are the death of his saints!
So consistant. never changing. in Him there is no variation. no shifting shadow. He is love. and He is I Am!
and i am not. and He loves me why?? because He does. because He chooses the lowly things of the world. the most silly. the clueless. the wanderers.
You, O Lord, are gracious and full of compassion,
Slow to anger, and full of kindness and truth.
The Lord is my shepherd and nothing is wanting in me.
In green pastures he has settled me.
Give thanks to the Lord for he is good.
His mercy endures forever.
Let Isreal now proclaim:
His mercy endures forever.
Let those who fear the Lord now proclaim:
His mercy endures forever. |
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| I just: |
[Aug. 27th, 2006|03:24 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my livingroom | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Willow - When the Sea Called | ] |
1) finished, for the fourth time, my green leather-bound hardback version of The Hobbit (or There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale). most amazing crap ever. everytime i read it i see something i've never seen before. so good. so beautiful. it ends so amazingly. it makes me sad.
2) had an amazing time on the phone with miss davis. she's so beautiful. my heart hurts for her. i don't mind you all knowing. she needs to be continually broken, as do we all, at the feet of our Savior. she means quite a deal to me. i know not why yet, but the Lord has placed her in my life for (a) specific reason(s)...
all in all, it is well with my soul. i hurt. i worry. i get anxious. i lie. i sin. i destroy.
Jesusredeems&sustains |
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| emooooo |
[Aug. 20th, 2006|03:27 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | the apt | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | wanting | ] |
| [ | music |
| | N.M.I. | ] |
...
i want someone to be here with me. to just sit and listen to music and dream with me. to think of things but not tell each other. just sit there and dream. and think. and listen. and wonder. and look at each other. and not say a word. to just let the Lord move in our hearts and minds. someone who wants to do that.
i was sitting here tonight in my room listening to an instrumental song from Sean Watkins... and all these nostalgic thoughts ran through my mind. i wandered back to 2003, winter-time... wearing warm clothes, driving with the windows down, the heat on my feet, listening to this song. the leaves dead and fallen but so beautiful. everything so beautiful. the sun is setting but it's not bright and hot, it's calm and refreshing, and a source of light and warmth amidst the cool. not overwhelming but overwhelmingly gorgeous. falling behind the leafless trees. driving. driving. driving. listening. learning. living. thriving. the smells are just crisp. sharp but not painful. the firewood burning in people's chimneys, flooding my nostrils and bringing me back even further. so far. so young.
all from a song. so powerful. can you be that way with me? i want to be this way with you. do you want to dream? do you want to listen? do you want this? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|12:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | fine | ] |
| [ | music |
| | guns blazing as Luke plays European Assault | ] |
what is it i want?? i don't know... i think i know. but i guess i'll just have to wait and see. you know, when it comes to me, sorta thing!
God's ways, God's thoughts, His plans, everything... are so different than my own.
Lord, i just want to trust in you to do your own thing, in your own time, and let my inconsistancies have no effect. i'm such a screw-up.
a worm, as the old hymn proclaims.
bring to me what you feel is best, when you feel it's best.
and help my unbelief. |
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| the motto on the marquee |
[Aug. 3rd, 2006|04:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
definitely is reading "PROVE IT!"
this is something i am learning and something i am learning about!
can't just go around flapping the gums thinkin everything will be alright if you just smooth it over with some sweetly placed flattery... it doesn't cut it. i mean, maybe it does for a quick fix, but soon the wound re-opens and needs the balm again. you can't just rinse it under the water and bid 'good day' and be on your way. it'll only collect more dirt and become infected. it need protection. it needs safety. it needs healing. it needs love and action. action action action.
i am a person that greatly desires words of affirmation. i love hearing that i look good, or that someone is proud of me for something, or that i did something wrong. i need to HEAR those things. you can't just expect me to do something without telling me. if you've got a problem with me but don't let me know, then i won't know. i need to be told. BUT THEN once told, there needs to be an action. you can't say you love me and then go and not show it. you can't say you love someone but not be sensitive to what makes them hurt. that's not love. it just ISN'T. it's not fair either. love involves sacrifice. patience, peace, you know the whole Chapter 13 shpeel from Corinthians. Love is...
and i am learning about this with myself in that i need to take much more action with those around me to whom i say "i love you". my family for instance. my brother and sister have helped me out SOOO much since i moved up here. but i rarely show them that i love them for their love or that i appreciate them. my words haven't been showing themselves well recently. i need some Help with it all.
anyway... make your words count, basically. don't throw them around. take the initiative with what you say. make them mobile. don't let them fall to the ground, a stagnant puddle of verbage.
i want to love stronger. more beautifully. more abundantly. more graciously. more sacrificially and selflessly
1 John 3:18 says, "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|04:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | please sir may i have another | ] |
| [ | music |
| | away with vega - make your muscles | ] |
i am letting gooooooooooooo
i need rest. i mean that in every way it has a meaning. i am weary, Lord. i am torn and tired. and i'm ashamed. but you say you love me. you've changed me. i believe you. and i hope in you. in your promises. continue the process.
i love my friends. i don't deserve them. but you've blessed me with them for your name's sake. for your glory. i am thankful. you are holy.
build me up and tear me down. make me usable to you. chip away all you want at me.
i'm gonna take a nap.
i love you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|11:17 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Judd and Maggie - Sleep Interrupted | ] |
prove it!
put your money where your mouth is.
that's all i'm asking.
God is so good. He builds and breaks and builds again. not in the sense that He messes up, but that He loves molding the things that He creates. it's a bittersweet feeling to be on the receiving end of discipline and bone breaking. but it's what is Best. and that's something we should never settle less for. nothing less than the Best. don't give up. don't back down. take charge and press on. pretty cliche but that's alright.
i like that quote and i'll repeat it again, i heard it from my frent Brett. "money is only as good as what it is used for".
what are you using your money for? vanity, or other people's poverty? what are you using your love for? self gratification? lovers less wild? i think we all do that. but i don't want to be stuck in the redundancy of the norm. God has regenerated me. i am alive for the first time. i can feel the Son shining on me. living in me. i can sense good and evil now. i can see those things, those lines that are normally scewed or obscure, i can see them in the Light now. and i can understand. i have a hope. i have a Savior. i have a True Love that never lets those He loves go. He is a promise keeper. and He promises to make me more like Him. i want to share that.
i need to go fix my phone. |
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| to be or not to be... |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|02:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hahahaha | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chris Thile - Stay Away From Me | ] |
and another page turns in this Shakespeare play.
i was once filled with so much affection and confidence and that now is all being stripped away. like the layers of this flesh. oh please make it quick. make me clean. make me new. make me You already.
i'm so sick of self-deceiving. and so sick of letting my emotions get the best of me. THAT is emo. plain and simple.
maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm not. i suppose there is still time to see. i'm not giving up yet. but i'm teetering on the edge of moving on. pressing on. dying to this. cause it's pretty close to a lost cause and those are never worth fighting for.
please someone show me the way out. haha
this is insane.
hey brent, let's move to Muscle Shoals now, man. get outta here for a time. i want that fire from Brother Washer's mouth to purge me of my stupidity! knock some sense into this empty skull.
woooooweeeee! |
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